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you can smile every day if you look (9人在浏览)

爱琴海的许愿

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2005-05-29
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 Customer: This lobster's only got one claw.

  Waiter: I guess he's been in a fight, sir.

  Customer: Well, bring me the winner.
 
Main Entrance

  A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

  He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

  The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
 
Wash your face

  Teacher: David, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?

  David: What was it?

  Teacher: Eggs.

  David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday
 
Knows the future

  Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden. While he was sawing, another man passed in the street. He stopped and said,“Excuse me, but if you continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it.”He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting it at a place between himself and the trunk of the tree.

  Nasreddin said nothing. He thought,“This is some foolish person who has no work to do and goes about telling other people what to do and what not to do.”

  The man continued on his way.

  Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasreddin fell with it.

  “My God!”he cried.“That man knows the future!”and he ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had gone.
 
Who is busy?

  It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone bell rang and Mary went to answer it.

  “Hullo, who’s that:”she asked?

  “It’s me--Peter.”

  Peter was a friend of Mary’s eight-year-old brother, Johnny.

  “Oh, hello. Peter. What do you want?”said Mary.

  “Can I speak to Johnny?”

  “No,”said Mary,“you can’t speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I’ve got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.”
 
What’s the problem?

  An elderly man was sitting on park bench in tears. A police officer came up and asked him what was wrong.

  “I have a 25-year-old wife at home . She is beautiful, charming and madly in love with me.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I can’t remember where I live!”
 
 The Good News and The Bad News

  The doctor is talking to a woman in a hospital bed. "I have some good news for you and some bad. First the bad news -- we amputated the wrong leg. Now here is the good news -- we've discovered that your other leg doesn't need to be removed after all."
 
Essay

Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket". After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: "Rain stopped play."
 
haha.......!
I love these stuffs. They are really funny.
 
我想要中文翻译```
 
QUOTE(爱琴海的许愿 @ 2005年05月29日 Sunday, 08:37 PM)
What’s the problem?

  An elderly man was sitting on park bench in tears. A police officer came up and asked him what was wrong.

  “I have a 25-year-old wife at home . She is beautiful, charming and madly in love with me.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  “I can’t remember where I live!”
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一个老男人在公园的板凳上面坐着哭ing
一个警察长官过来问咋了
``我家里有一个25岁的妻子,她很PL的说..有魅力的说...而且爱我爱得疯狂的说``


``那有什么问题捏?``

``偶忘记偶住在哪里了~``



默哀ing~,,,

大家过来看看有没有什么gramma mistake
 
没看到中文我还以为我出国了~~~~~
 
上面的我看了就晕了.不知是什么的
 
QUOTE( @ 2005年06月04日 Saturday, 07:15 PM)
我想要中文翻译```
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Me,too
 
QUOTE(爱琴海的许愿 @ 2005年05月29日 Sunday, 08:36 PM)
Wash your face

  Teacher: David, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?

  David: What was it?

  Teacher: Eggs.

  David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday
[snapback]371746[/snapback]​


老师:大卫,你为什么不洗脸捏?偶可以看见你今天早上吃啥做早餐的说...
大卫:啥捏?
老师:蛋.
大卫:错了,老师....那是昨天的早餐的说....


(寒....)
 
Which means David didn't wash his face for at least two days already. What a good boy!
 
蜜蜂斑猪...
可以帮忙翻译下别的笑话不?
i can hardly understand them ...
 
My dear Kenny! This is an English Corner. It's not necessary to tranlate them inot Chinese. It's not that funny after translation. Also, this will be a big job for me to do that. It will take me a while to type those Chinese characters out. I don't mind if you can continue to do that.
 
i will if i can

but it is too hard for me .....
 
i think it will be more helpful if you can translate them into chinese,cu'sit can help us understand them well..
 
I don't want to do all of them. If you find a particular one that you are interested, let me know..........
 
i can't be interested by them when i didn' know what the hell tjey are meaning...


hehe..
 

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